A Wedding-Day Challenge
A year ago today, my sister asked me to speak at her wedding and present her and her now-husband with a charge for them as a couple with their God-given responsibilities in a Christian marriage. They are both believers in God and followers of Jesus Christ. They wanted others to know that God stands at the center of their marriage; he is the one who brought them together, he is the one who led them to marry, and knowing and serving him is the goal of their marriage. In that challenge, I made five points about marriage as God has described it in his Word, and how it relates to the good news of salvation that God offers to us in Christ. I present those five points for you here in their fuller form, since I always prepare too much material and what I presented that day had to be shortened (and was still a bit too long). May it be a blessing and a challenge to you.
Marriage is created by God
This is the foundation of everything I will say today. The Bible does not defend the existence of God but assumes it, and though God does reveal himself to us through nature and humanity's moral awareness, the first verse of the Bible simply assumes "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" (Gen. 1:1). It is God who designed and created all things: the universe and the world; land, sea, and sky; plants, animals, and humans.
God created humans as the crowning glory of his creation – male and female, equal to each other in worth. Gen 1:26-27 says “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’” And the next verse contains the first poem in the Bible, in which God declares that we are his images: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” This is the worth and value of a human: we are God’s images with inherent dignity.
God created Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, complementary to each other – husband and wife, with differing roles in marriage. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Then God created Eve from Adam’s own side, which is followed by the first human speech in the Bible: a husband's love poem to his wife: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:23-24) This is God’s design for marriage: a man and a woman who love and serve each other in a committed, God-designed covenant.
The challenge for married couples from this first point is this: since we are God's images, how we live reflects upon him. Our every act is a declaration of who God is, so remember that your marriage – as all of life – is about God. This means that you must acknowledge your marriage role in submission to God. Now, much has been said about roles of men and women, but this much is clear in Scripture: the husband is responsible to lead his wife through sacrificial example, and the wife must be willing to follow his example inasmuch as it conforms to Christ's character. Further, you fulfill your God-given role for God's glory. Fulfilling them glorifies God because it makes the truth about him known by following his pattern and accomplishing what he intends marriage to do: sanctify us. Finally, perform your roles in God's power. You cannot do these roles in your own strength; at best you can pretend, at worst fail completely. The indwelling Holy Spirit empowers believers to humble themselves and obey God by serving their spouse.
But all of us need to know from marriage that there is a God and what he says matters. Just as a married couple must submit to God's plan for their marriage, so all people must recognize that what God says matters. God has given his standards of right and wrong, and they appear in the conscience of every person, no matter where they are from or what culture they inhabit. This conscience can be resisted, and it certainly can be dimmed through persistent rejection, but it is there nonetheless. Since God is the Creator, he is the authority, and though you may disagree with the ruling of the Judge, you are still affected by his verdict; you may reject his authority, but he will still condemn you as guilty. But the story doesn't end there: God is more than a lawgiver, he is also loving.
God has designed marriage as a covenant: an agreement between two people to preserve and better the relationship. When God pronounced the first couple, Adam and Eve, as married, he instituted a universal practice: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Christ, commenting on these events thousands of years later, said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6). The marriage covenant is intended to be permanent.
When God describes his covenant relationships to people, he describes them as marriages. In the Old Testament, God said to Israel, “For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth” (Isa. 54:5). Just as marriage is a binding, two-way agreement, so God views his promises to us as binding, two-way agreements. God will never fail to live up to his end, since not only does God view his covenants as marriages, but these covenants – like marriage – are also marked by love: “his steadfast love [faithful promise-keeping because of love] endures forever” (Ps. 136). When God grants us his gracious promises, he does so out of his overflowing goodness and faithful love for us.
The challenge to the married is: Pour out God's faithful love on each other. As God is faithful to you regardless of your actions, show that same faithful love to your spouse. Jesus said to forgive “70 x 7” times (Matt. 18:22). There is no limit to the forgiveness you offer each other; forgive as you have been forgiven by God. Don’t go to bed angry; while you will not be able to work out every problem before bed, you should end each night loving each other and committed to finding the solution as a team, not fighting each other. All of this means that you must seek to outdo each other in showing love. Love doesn't keep a scoreboard of service, it seeks to do more.
But all of us need to see from marriage that God pours out his love on us in his grace and mercy. The love that God commands in marriage is but a faint picture of his own love for us. God feels compassion for us – that is the meaning of mercy – and God desires to give us good gifts – that is the meaning of grace! Not only has he made this world, but he has given us the Bible so that we can know him, and he has offered us a personal relationship with Himself! The one verse of the Bible that most people know is 1 John 4:8, which says, "God is love." Only slightly less well known is John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." The Bible is clear that God's goodness and love are seen all around us in the world he created, and we see it most of all in his offer of salvation from our sin.
Remember, God made us as his images, and he desires us to be like him. 2 Corinthians 3:18 recounts, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” This verse describes the process by which believers in God are changed by the indwelling Holy Spirit of God to become more like the perfect Son of God, Jesus Christ.
Also, God has created marriage as the highest form of friendship, and it exists for the purpose of sanctification. This process by which God empowers us to more fully image himself is called sanctification. There are many avenues God uses to sanctify us in this life, but one of the primary ones is marriage itself. When Paul describes marriage, he does so through the lens of the Gospel, saying, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:25-28). Just as Christ died to himself to make the church holy, so must husbands die to themselves to make their wives holy, and as fellow believers they both bear this obligation toward each other.
For the married, this means that we must work to sanctify each other, not to manipulate each other. Remember that when you marry, you are marrying a sinner who will break their promises. God’s design of marriage as a convent keeps you together when sin would tear you apart. Your spouse will only become better by knowing God better, so you must lead them to God by acting godly when they are ungodly. This means that the best thing you can do for your marriage is to be holy yourself, regardless of how they respond.
For all of us, we need to know that God is holy, and will not allow sin into his presence. Thus far, we have said that God is the Creator and so the authority, then we have said that God loves us; but there is a problem: any deviation from God's standard of moral perfection – what he calls sin – is a capital offense. Why such a severe penalty for something so trivial as a lie or theft? Because God is infinitely holy, any offense to his holiness is an infinite offense and deserves infinite punishment. We tend to categorize wrong actions as more or less evil, and some simply as mistakes or lapses in judgment, but God holds us accountable and does not allow sinners to get off free, otherwise, he would not be a good judge! Because God is just, he judges sin, and he does not accept bribes or make exceptions. What I am saying here today matters because this life is not the end – there is more to come.
The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes is, among other things, a philosophical treatise on the meaning of life on this earth. Ultimately, it concludes that life lived apart from God is pointless, and that it can only be truly enjoyed by living in a right relationship with God. It says of marriage, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun” (Eccl. 9:9). And yet, marriage is not the ultimate fulfillment in life, so the book concludes, “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14). Only this matters in the end, and only this can lead to a successful and fulfilling life or marriage.
So, the challenge is to recognize that marriage is not the goal of life; knowing God is. Recognize that marriage is about more than you – it is about God. Also, recognize marriage as a call to serve each other for God's glory. This means that you must not seek your own happiness as the greatest goal; seek the kingdom of God and he will grant you the joy that comes from living out your created purpose, which at times includes but is far greater than mere happiness.
For the rest of us, we need to know that there is an eternity after this life, and what we do now matters. God has made humans eternal, so the question is not whether you will last eternally, but rather one of your condition in that eternity. While God has designed a wonderful new creation for those who believe in him, he has prepared a place of punishment called Hell for all who reject his authority and so refuse his free offer of salvation. Just as knowing God is eternal life, rejecting him leads to eternal death where one experiences none of God’s blessings, only his judgment. It has been said that this world is the only Hell believers in Christ will know, but this world is also the only heaven those who reject Christ will know. Your choice matters eternally! Marriage is so important to God because it pictures this very offer of salvation, to which we now turn.
Jesus Christ is God become man to save sinners from eternal death. The Gospel of John opens with the following statements: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:1-3). “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Jesus became human while remaining God so that he could bear the penalty for our sin and open the way to God. Paul describes it this way: “[T]hough he was in the form of God, [he] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil 2:6-8). This means that, instead of about us, marriage is ultimately about properly imaging God, and specifically Christ's work as mankind's Savior. As Paul says at the end of his discussion of marriage in Ephesians, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:32-33). How we live out our marriage is a proclamation of the Gospel itself.
Here is the final challenge for the married: Love your spouse like Jesus loved you, no matter what. This is how marriage glorifies God: when done right, it tells the truth about who he is. You are called to live out who God is in love and sacrifice for your partner. Your marriage should show the same kind of sacrifice that Christ showed in saving you: take up your cross and die daily in service to your spouse. Remember, Christ washed Judas' feet, so betrayal does not exempt you from showing this love. “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18).
For the rest of us, we need to know that Jesus' loving death in your place offers eternal life – this is the Gospel, or “good news.” About 2,000 years ago, God took on humanity, lived a perfect life, and died to take the penalty for your sin and offer you forgiveness; this is love. “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person – though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:6-8). But Jesus did not remain dead; he rose again and defeated the penalty of eternal death, and through this victory he offers his resurrected life to us. “[God's grace] now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Tim. 1:10). To receive this life, you must accept this life as a free gift by faith, trusting in God's solution to your sin problem rather than in your own actions. “[F]or all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified [made right with God – exonerated of all charges] by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation [wrath-atoning sacrifice] by his blood, to be received by faith” (Rom. 3:23-25).
What does all this have to do with marriage? You cannot earn your spouse's love; they choose to give it freely as a gift, and all you can do is accept or reject it. Song of Solomon, an inspired love poem found within the pages of Scripture, states, “If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised” (Song 8:7). Likewise, you cannot earn salvation; God chooses to give it freely as a gift, and all you can do is accept or reject it. Two passages make this clear: “Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due. And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness” (Rom. 4:4-5); “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). Love cannot be earned, only accepted, and marriage illustrates this truth at the human level so that we might grasp it at the divine level and become right with God by accepting his gift of salvation bought for us through the sacrifice of Christ.
To sum up, here is God's challenge to married couples:
Marriage is created by God
This is the foundation of everything I will say today. The Bible does not defend the existence of God but assumes it, and though God does reveal himself to us through nature and humanity's moral awareness, the first verse of the Bible simply assumes "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" (Gen. 1:1). It is God who designed and created all things: the universe and the world; land, sea, and sky; plants, animals, and humans.God created humans as the crowning glory of his creation – male and female, equal to each other in worth. Gen 1:26-27 says “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’” And the next verse contains the first poem in the Bible, in which God declares that we are his images: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” This is the worth and value of a human: we are God’s images with inherent dignity.
God created Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, complementary to each other – husband and wife, with differing roles in marriage. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Then God created Eve from Adam’s own side, which is followed by the first human speech in the Bible: a husband's love poem to his wife: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:23-24) This is God’s design for marriage: a man and a woman who love and serve each other in a committed, God-designed covenant.
The challenge for married couples from this first point is this: since we are God's images, how we live reflects upon him. Our every act is a declaration of who God is, so remember that your marriage – as all of life – is about God. This means that you must acknowledge your marriage role in submission to God. Now, much has been said about roles of men and women, but this much is clear in Scripture: the husband is responsible to lead his wife through sacrificial example, and the wife must be willing to follow his example inasmuch as it conforms to Christ's character. Further, you fulfill your God-given role for God's glory. Fulfilling them glorifies God because it makes the truth about him known by following his pattern and accomplishing what he intends marriage to do: sanctify us. Finally, perform your roles in God's power. You cannot do these roles in your own strength; at best you can pretend, at worst fail completely. The indwelling Holy Spirit empowers believers to humble themselves and obey God by serving their spouse.
But all of us need to know from marriage that there is a God and what he says matters. Just as a married couple must submit to God's plan for their marriage, so all people must recognize that what God says matters. God has given his standards of right and wrong, and they appear in the conscience of every person, no matter where they are from or what culture they inhabit. This conscience can be resisted, and it certainly can be dimmed through persistent rejection, but it is there nonetheless. Since God is the Creator, he is the authority, and though you may disagree with the ruling of the Judge, you are still affected by his verdict; you may reject his authority, but he will still condemn you as guilty. But the story doesn't end there: God is more than a lawgiver, he is also loving.
Marriage is how God describes his love
God created marriage, not as a burden, but as a great blessing. He designed this closest of relationships to bring human beings into deep, personal connections that are meaningful and fulfilling, where each partner helps the other and is committed to the other in love, each serving the other according to God's perfect design. And after making this beautiful relationship, God then describes his love for us using this same picture.God has designed marriage as a covenant: an agreement between two people to preserve and better the relationship. When God pronounced the first couple, Adam and Eve, as married, he instituted a universal practice: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Christ, commenting on these events thousands of years later, said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6). The marriage covenant is intended to be permanent.
When God describes his covenant relationships to people, he describes them as marriages. In the Old Testament, God said to Israel, “For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth” (Isa. 54:5). Just as marriage is a binding, two-way agreement, so God views his promises to us as binding, two-way agreements. God will never fail to live up to his end, since not only does God view his covenants as marriages, but these covenants – like marriage – are also marked by love: “his steadfast love [faithful promise-keeping because of love] endures forever” (Ps. 136). When God grants us his gracious promises, he does so out of his overflowing goodness and faithful love for us.
The challenge to the married is: Pour out God's faithful love on each other. As God is faithful to you regardless of your actions, show that same faithful love to your spouse. Jesus said to forgive “70 x 7” times (Matt. 18:22). There is no limit to the forgiveness you offer each other; forgive as you have been forgiven by God. Don’t go to bed angry; while you will not be able to work out every problem before bed, you should end each night loving each other and committed to finding the solution as a team, not fighting each other. All of this means that you must seek to outdo each other in showing love. Love doesn't keep a scoreboard of service, it seeks to do more.
But all of us need to see from marriage that God pours out his love on us in his grace and mercy. The love that God commands in marriage is but a faint picture of his own love for us. God feels compassion for us – that is the meaning of mercy – and God desires to give us good gifts – that is the meaning of grace! Not only has he made this world, but he has given us the Bible so that we can know him, and he has offered us a personal relationship with Himself! The one verse of the Bible that most people know is 1 John 4:8, which says, "God is love." Only slightly less well known is John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." The Bible is clear that God's goodness and love are seen all around us in the world he created, and we see it most of all in his offer of salvation from our sin.
Marriage is designed to sanctify us
So, God is the Creator and God is love. But He is also holy – that is, completely morally perfect – and because we are his images, he desires us to be holy like him. God created marriage for his own purposes, and he has revealed to us that part of his purpose for marriage, far beyond our happiness of companionship, is that we would become holy like him so that we properly image him.Remember, God made us as his images, and he desires us to be like him. 2 Corinthians 3:18 recounts, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” This verse describes the process by which believers in God are changed by the indwelling Holy Spirit of God to become more like the perfect Son of God, Jesus Christ.
Also, God has created marriage as the highest form of friendship, and it exists for the purpose of sanctification. This process by which God empowers us to more fully image himself is called sanctification. There are many avenues God uses to sanctify us in this life, but one of the primary ones is marriage itself. When Paul describes marriage, he does so through the lens of the Gospel, saying, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:25-28). Just as Christ died to himself to make the church holy, so must husbands die to themselves to make their wives holy, and as fellow believers they both bear this obligation toward each other.
For the married, this means that we must work to sanctify each other, not to manipulate each other. Remember that when you marry, you are marrying a sinner who will break their promises. God’s design of marriage as a convent keeps you together when sin would tear you apart. Your spouse will only become better by knowing God better, so you must lead them to God by acting godly when they are ungodly. This means that the best thing you can do for your marriage is to be holy yourself, regardless of how they respond.
For all of us, we need to know that God is holy, and will not allow sin into his presence. Thus far, we have said that God is the Creator and so the authority, then we have said that God loves us; but there is a problem: any deviation from God's standard of moral perfection – what he calls sin – is a capital offense. Why such a severe penalty for something so trivial as a lie or theft? Because God is infinitely holy, any offense to his holiness is an infinite offense and deserves infinite punishment. We tend to categorize wrong actions as more or less evil, and some simply as mistakes or lapses in judgment, but God holds us accountable and does not allow sinners to get off free, otherwise, he would not be a good judge! Because God is just, he judges sin, and he does not accept bribes or make exceptions. What I am saying here today matters because this life is not the end – there is more to come.
Marriage is only for this life
Though God has created humans as his eternal images, marriage does not last for eternity. Some of us are painfully aware that it does not even last until the end of this life. God has not designed marriage to be eternal, but only for our time on this earth. When Jesus Christ was on earth, he plainly stated that there is no marriage in eternity: “In the resurrection [eternity] they neither marry nor are given in marriage” (Matt. 22:29-31). Why? Because marriage is not an end in itself – it and all of life is about God.The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes is, among other things, a philosophical treatise on the meaning of life on this earth. Ultimately, it concludes that life lived apart from God is pointless, and that it can only be truly enjoyed by living in a right relationship with God. It says of marriage, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun” (Eccl. 9:9). And yet, marriage is not the ultimate fulfillment in life, so the book concludes, “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14). Only this matters in the end, and only this can lead to a successful and fulfilling life or marriage.
So, the challenge is to recognize that marriage is not the goal of life; knowing God is. Recognize that marriage is about more than you – it is about God. Also, recognize marriage as a call to serve each other for God's glory. This means that you must not seek your own happiness as the greatest goal; seek the kingdom of God and he will grant you the joy that comes from living out your created purpose, which at times includes but is far greater than mere happiness.
For the rest of us, we need to know that there is an eternity after this life, and what we do now matters. God has made humans eternal, so the question is not whether you will last eternally, but rather one of your condition in that eternity. While God has designed a wonderful new creation for those who believe in him, he has prepared a place of punishment called Hell for all who reject his authority and so refuse his free offer of salvation. Just as knowing God is eternal life, rejecting him leads to eternal death where one experiences none of God’s blessings, only his judgment. It has been said that this world is the only Hell believers in Christ will know, but this world is also the only heaven those who reject Christ will know. Your choice matters eternally! Marriage is so important to God because it pictures this very offer of salvation, to which we now turn.
Marriage is a picture of Christ's love for us
We have seen that God created marriage so that we – his images – might accurately portray who he is. But, since we are his images, we have the opportunity to image him in every aspect of life, so what makes marriage special? Marriage is a human relationship specifically designed by God to teach about Jesus Christ's loving choice to die for us so that we might be saved from our sin. Through the centuries, theologians have conjectured and pontificated about God’s nature and how Jesus can be his Son while both remain God; in the end, this is a mystery, but what we do know is what Scripture tells us.Jesus Christ is God become man to save sinners from eternal death. The Gospel of John opens with the following statements: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:1-3). “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Jesus became human while remaining God so that he could bear the penalty for our sin and open the way to God. Paul describes it this way: “[T]hough he was in the form of God, [he] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil 2:6-8). This means that, instead of about us, marriage is ultimately about properly imaging God, and specifically Christ's work as mankind's Savior. As Paul says at the end of his discussion of marriage in Ephesians, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:32-33). How we live out our marriage is a proclamation of the Gospel itself.
Here is the final challenge for the married: Love your spouse like Jesus loved you, no matter what. This is how marriage glorifies God: when done right, it tells the truth about who he is. You are called to live out who God is in love and sacrifice for your partner. Your marriage should show the same kind of sacrifice that Christ showed in saving you: take up your cross and die daily in service to your spouse. Remember, Christ washed Judas' feet, so betrayal does not exempt you from showing this love. “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18).
For the rest of us, we need to know that Jesus' loving death in your place offers eternal life – this is the Gospel, or “good news.” About 2,000 years ago, God took on humanity, lived a perfect life, and died to take the penalty for your sin and offer you forgiveness; this is love. “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person – though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:6-8). But Jesus did not remain dead; he rose again and defeated the penalty of eternal death, and through this victory he offers his resurrected life to us. “[God's grace] now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Tim. 1:10). To receive this life, you must accept this life as a free gift by faith, trusting in God's solution to your sin problem rather than in your own actions. “[F]or all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified [made right with God – exonerated of all charges] by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation [wrath-atoning sacrifice] by his blood, to be received by faith” (Rom. 3:23-25).
What does all this have to do with marriage? You cannot earn your spouse's love; they choose to give it freely as a gift, and all you can do is accept or reject it. Song of Solomon, an inspired love poem found within the pages of Scripture, states, “If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised” (Song 8:7). Likewise, you cannot earn salvation; God chooses to give it freely as a gift, and all you can do is accept or reject it. Two passages make this clear: “Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due. And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness” (Rom. 4:4-5); “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). Love cannot be earned, only accepted, and marriage illustrates this truth at the human level so that we might grasp it at the divine level and become right with God by accepting his gift of salvation bought for us through the sacrifice of Christ.
Conclusion
When a couple is married, they proclaim their love to each other by forming a lifelong covenant before God and others, and God joins them together. All of this has is done in obedience to God's pattern of marriage that shows the love of Christ in dying for human sin.To sum up, here is God's challenge to married couples:
- Remember that your marriage is about God.
- Pour out God's faithful love and mercy on each other.
- Work to sanctify each other, not to manipulate each other.
- Recognize marriage is not the goal of life - knowing God is.
- Love your spouse like Jesus loved you, no matter what.
- There is a God and what he says matters for your life.
- God has poured out his love on you in his grace and mercy.
- God is holy and will not allow your sin into his presence.
- There is an eternity after this life, and what you do now matters.
- Jesus' loving death in your place offers eternal life to you.
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Also he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.' And he said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.'” (Revelation 21:1-7)
But not everyone is invited to this final marriage:
“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Marriage pictures the Savior and how he has offered to rescue us from sin, and he can do the same for you.
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